I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted from years of political and familial polarization, with all sides twisting themselves into unethical knots trying to defend the indefensible. I am sick of the endless sanctimony and judgment, and the self-serving refusals to even consider other viewpoints. Nowhere has this been more painfully played out than on the issue of abortion.
Abortion before a fetus is able to breathe on its own outside the womb is not murder, but it is the end of a potential human life. And despite all the angry assumptions and rhetoric on both sides, that is something pregnant women and couples take very seriously when faced with possibly terminating a pregnancy. These mothers- and fathers-to-be deserve support and options, not threats of imprisonment, forced birth, and death. They certainly don’t deserve laws that make it so difficult for them to get quality medical care that the lives of BOTH the mother-to-be and unborn child are now placed in mortal danger.
How did we get to the point where the government forcing women to have children was an acceptable option? It certainly didn’t come from Christian scripture, which tells us to live our faith and attract others to it, not force it down their throats. No, it came primarily from women on all sides of the issue refusing for decades to take responsibility and come together to agree on a comprehensive plan to help women and families who want to have children but can’t afford it or are physically unable to safely continue their pregnancies.
We had other choices. We could have created a Commission on Family Health to oversee the development of multiple resources for pregnant women and their families, relieve the financial and mental health burdens of pregnancy, and significantly lower the number of abortions. Resources like:
• Easily accessible and free sex education that emphasizes responsible sex
• Free birth control
• Free parenting classes
• Financial assistance to help pregnant women and girls stay in school
• Housing assistance for young families, including discounted mortgage rates
• Discounted physical and mental healthcare services for pregnant women,
including education and treatment for post-partum depression
• Expanded and affordable childcare services for working mothers and fathers
• Family friendly corporate policies
Two things have made it impossible for women to unite on these issues:
FIRST, the intolerance of feminist leaders for any discussion on even minimally limiting abortion rights, and the dehumanizing language they have often used — like “abortion on demand” and insisting mothers-to-be use the word “fetus” for what is moving inside their bodies instead of “unborn child.” The result is they have made abortion sound frivolous and cold-blooded, and pregnancy sound mechanical and unemotional.
SECOND, the insistence of right-wing women that their personal interpretation of Christianity should be the law of the land above all other religions. They have hypocritically preached “pro-life” while supporting the death penalty, praised the murders of doctors and attacks on Planned Parenthood centers, and shown little compassion for women with complicated pregnancies — even women and unborn children on the verge of death dealing with doctors and hospitals too terrified to treat them, thanks to the horrific legislation conservative women supported.
We continue to be incapable of having a serious, civil discussion about what women’s responsibilities are in today’s sexual arena, especially in terms of explicit consent and avoiding unwanted pregnancy. The right has harkened back to telling girls they should just pray and “keep their knees together,” while the left continues to pretend that in our sex-obsessed and sexually repressed country, sex is no big deal and an unwanted pregnancy is just a nuisance.
My idea of compromise used to be that you apologized and admitted I was right, and I magnanimously accepted your apology. Sadly, this is the crossroads where we now stand. The only thing that is likely to bring women together on abortion is the grisly, unnecessary deaths of dozens if not hundreds of women and unborn children. If that doesn’t shake us up and force us out of our self-righteous silos, no god is going to forgive us for what we have done to each other. And well they shouldn’t.
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~ Jassa Skott, December 2024
